


Stargazing inside

by Guess_im_the_foot_guy



Category: Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware, Half-Life
Genre: A little, Angst, Both tommy and benrey have CHIM, But not enough to tag, Gen, It is late and i had feelings, and are friends pre-series, ew right, frenrey, friends talkin'
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:42:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24940015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Guess_im_the_foot_guy/pseuds/Guess_im_the_foot_guy
Summary: Tommy and Benrey talk a little about the game one night while the others sleep.
Relationships: Benrey & Tommy Coolatta
Comments: 6
Kudos: 82





	Stargazing inside

**Author's Note:**

> Rewatching stuff gave me feelings- ew, right? Damb ass dumb autistic feelings about feeling like just who you are causes problems + you can't seem to fix it  
> So this is that. Unedited, sowwy
> 
> OH and due to this being about expressing urself and I imagine Tommy and Benrey understand each other pretty well, there are definitely hella vague parts where they say something and the meaning might not b clear? I tried to prevent that but 1. it's 2am and 2. did you miss the part where me no talk good. sowwy again. pls ask if something one of them said is completely arcane

Benrey was sitting against a stack of wooden pallets, staring at the gross linoleum, re-rendering all his shit, and keeping watch while the others slept, when movement caught his eye. A person? He turned, but then sat right back, comforted by who he saw.

The figure’s eyes glowed, just a little, in the night.

Tommy sat beside him on the ground, and for a long time, said nothing at all. When the backlit gaze landed on him, he felt it.

“You didn’t tell him what the last parts all meant.”

“Um. Well, that would have been rude, since they were. Um, more personal than the coming in peace and hello.” Tommy’s voice was a little like his dad’s, and nothing like his dad’s. It was almost always just shy of startlingly loud, or maybe just felt so- even when he was whispering. Like his father’s voice, and his father’s eyes, it strained at just being one human sound, much less a perfectly normal one- slow to come and odd in pauses and- well, loud. Or maybe ‘present’. Like a bright color. It was a kind voice, all the way through, even with all of the weird twists and bumps in it. He was way, way better at talking to people than his father was.

His father’s voice always sounded quiet.

Benrey preferred Tommy’s by far.

He hadn’t said anything in response, but he didn’t need to. Tommy was smart. Smart as shit. Those freaky eyes caught things, he often thought- some sort of wave or something that people like him couldn’t see. Right now they were trained on the ceiling, but maybe that didn’t even matter.

“You-. You really… like him?”

“Yeah.” He snorted. “Not that it’s a good idea- he’s all… he’s really mean.” 

“Well I. I do kind of. Agree with… that part, yeah.”

He hadn’t even had to tell him not to rub it in.

“That’s why _you_ like him, right?”

Tommy gave him a secret smile. There was dried blood smeared in a half circle under one eye where he’d missed it cleaning. “He’s uh- pretty funny, sometimes. To watch.”

Benrey snorted. “I dunno how you do that. Always seem so nice.” He rested his head back against the pallets with a little thunk.

“I dunno…” He sighed. “I dunno what to do about it. Nothin’ seems to help. He really hates me and. And I don’t. Don’t fuckin- know why. I’m nice.”

“Well, all of this is stressful! And for some- some people…” Tommy trailed off for a moment, then started again, just a little quieter.

“Some people have a hard time changing their minds, um. After initially meeting someone? Even if it’s not. Deserved.”

Benrey picked at his nails.

“It’s just my job! Dunno what business some uh- some research associate has tellin’ me what to do about regulations. Plus his- the. In-a-prop-ri-ate exposure. Bein' polite isn't the point when dealin' with that.”

“Oh, right- uh. I don’t know how I didn’t… notice, that.”

“I can believe it.”

“Hey!”

“Yo no hate for it. You’re polite, y’don’t go around lookin’ at dudes in the crotch.”

“Still seems kind of um. A big thing to miss.”

“You aren’t a guard, isn’t your job, don’t worry about it. That’s what ol’ Benrey is for. Perv police so you don’t gotta be.”

Tommy frowned thoughtfully instead of continuing the joke. “I can try and… talk to him for you, maybe?”

“Nah bro it’s OK I’ll just push him off of something later. Lil’ respawn to clear the sinuses.”

Tommy laughed- a little barking surprised one that Benrey loved. “No, No! He’ll- he’ll like you even less, then. I should, uh, do it, if anyone is. Is. If you want to do that.”

“No way man,” Benrey knocked their shoulders together, smiling a little. “You need to keep your _nice_ thing!”

“Maybe he’ll just do it to-to-to himself, then.”

Benrey swallowed against something a few times, looking up at the ceiling too. It was boring- he wondered if Tommy could see through it. Maybe he was stargazing or something.

“Hey. Do you think it’s me?”

Neither of them moved for the longest pause yet before Tommy spoke again.

“I.” His voice cracked apart on just that word- probably the reason for the long silence. Benrey felt a little guilty for making it happen.

“I don’t think. There are.”

“Nothing is- is predetermined from the start.” He said, finally.

“But I don’t know how to talk to him. I don’t know what he wants, and he _hates_ me.”

His voice was a childish whine, but maybe that was ok. Tommy wouldn’t make fun of him. And it was better than crying.

“That’s ok, Benrey.”

“No it’s not!”

“There’s um. Nothing. Nothing wrong with how you talk, and uh, you’re a valuable employee and- and. And friend.”

“But none’a that shit matters if the ending is bad cuz of how I am. Talk. Y’know.”

“Well. It’s not the end yet, um, so- so don’t get too worried about it all right now, ok?”

A thin hand found his. Tommy was always warm to the tips of his fingers; like that part of him, too, strained at just being one human man.

And if he took it? Or if he did cry? If he leaned on Tommy’s warm ass shoulder and complained for an hour, or just lay there hiccupping and blubbering on, or did any number of embarrassing things? It wouldn’t have mattered. Tommy wasn’t a snitch.

He didn’t, though.

If it didn’t change the ending, and no one knew it’d happened, it didn’t really matter which one it was anyway, or how he felt about it if it did.

So maybe they just stargazed.

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't have a big plan, man! I was supposed to be nice!


End file.
